New Beginning

This is my fresh start!

A new day begins.

My first breath is taken in.

(Inhales deep, exhales slow)

The world seems so bright,

New.

Strength is regaining.

Power in my mind,

It's returning.

I have energy!

Why?

From my boi.

I love her with all my heart.

Forever shall I.

Some day I hope

To make her more....

More than just my boifriend.

Then I shall start...

My absolute....

New beginning.

Stricken

You know you're in love when it's hidden then suddenly all comes out at once (with some beating around the bush).

When me and my boi first met, it was through a great friend, Haley. She introduced us. Like I said in my last post it was like cupid shooting me with an arrow. I still feel like that. I still feel like, that she took my heart.. She has it. It beats so fast when I hear her speak. It's like fireworks going off in the background!!

I used to ask myself if I should say something.... and when I was going to, I chickened out. Yeah yeah yeah, for all that know me... I never chicken out to most things. This I do.

Why?

Maybe because when we would talk, it would be actual conversations. Not just "hi" ... "How are you?" ..... "Let's go fuck".

I'm not some toy with her.

I vow all of this. With my everlasting heart shall I vow to never hurt her, never cheat, never leave, never cross boundaries, to always respect her, to always treat her like she should be treated, always be faithful, always be trusting, always love her for who she is and so much more.

My heart beats for her, and only her.

She has struck my heart, struck my soul, struck my life. I love her with all of my might, heart.... just everything lol.

I'm not sure how much more I can express my love for her... I'd give my life for her, I'd give her everything to what I can. If I could, I would give her the entire world so it's at the palm of her hands.

Like said in the most dorky way I know.... My heart is BoP (bind on pick-up) and she has it, now its soulbound....

Heated Romance?

So if you had read my last post I had mentioned that I was no longer single but now back in the dating world and taken.

Now let me tell you all a little something. She's amazing! I haven't met a single girl that is like her. She's the wind beneath my wings. She's the fire that burns in my ever living heart.

When I met her it was like cupid automatically shot me with his arrow. She was so mysterious that it drove me up a wall. I had to know more. We gradually started to talk. She helped me with a hell of a lot, and I did with her. She was mind boggling. She had set my heart on fire every time I talked to her. I loved the feeling because I knew I wanted more. I wanted it never to stop.

When we first told each other that we had feelings for one another... I felt a relief in my heart. Least I then knew it wasn't just me feeling like that. She left me breathless that day.

Right now, I cannot possibly love her more than I do. Because I love her to the most of which someone can love. I love her as my girlfriend, a future life-partner, and a best friend.

Here's something I just wrote for her;

There is a intense beating in my chest

One that only beats for you.

I can see what it wants

It's crystal clear

It will never break in your hands

As long as you hold mine,

I'll hold yours.

I will not break it.

There are three words

Eight letters....

That I will always say.

I love you.

Life Now

Well here is a solid update from where I had last off in my rage:

I was in and out of hospitals for being accused of "craziness". Though I am okay now. To a degree. I have many friends, family, and other supporters. With everything, I lost a good friendship of my cousin, whom will remain nameless.

Anyhow! This is my life now. I live in Pittsburgh, PA with my roommates Brandy, Kalya and Daina. I'm a student at the Art Institute of Pittsburgh for photography. It's been great here so far! I do admit that I miss home sometimes, and that I do miss all of my friend but there is something about this place that makes it feel like no other. Literally, I used to live in the suburbs, so the city is amazing in my opinion.

I've been trying really hard to keep my heart up today. Since today was the day that my daughter had passed away. It's been a few years now, but I'm still slowly getting over it. It's not easy, being 18 and remembering losing a daughter. Life is hard, yes, but now sometimes you have to keep going.

Now this is the fun part of what I love to write about... Because this is the ONLY thing I ever love to talk about. RELATIONSHIP! Ha ha! See, well here's the thing. I am with someone. For once in my life I am happy with the gi-.. well boi I love. If anything... anything at all... I'd do anything for her. She has my heart, my mind, my soul, my everlasting being. She is what makes my world go 'round and 'round. My heart is never at rest when I talk to her. It skips beats, it melts when she does everything sweet (which is all the time). I can honestly say that I love her more than anything, even my own life. I want her as my life-partner, my everything... my lover, my best friend...

If you have any comments leave one :) Any questions too, just send me a tell!!!

I don't want to get used again....

Tá sé seo aisteach! Tá mé chomh mearbhall. Tá mé léi, ach ansin mothaíonn sé cosúil le gach rud atá mícheart. Tá mé i ngrá leis an cailín iomlán, ach fós ní féidir liom a thaispeáint go fóill. Chun é sin a dhéanamh go luath. Tá mo chroí coscartha literally agus casta a fhoirmiú méid a fheiceann daoine eile dom mar. Ní mian liom go bhfuil. Is fuath liom é. Ba mhaith liom díreach chun seasamh amach agus mé féin a bheidh, duine a fheiceáil chun súil a súile don chéad uair riamh agus nach a úsáid mar a bheadh bréagán beag ...

Strange...

BAM!

You love to sense the norm in everything? To find yourself is to find everyone else around you. But when you can find no one then what happens? It will eat at you till you are nothing, and burn you till you have nothing. To fear it is a misconception in the world. If you walk in life unnoticed you surely will be seen. And soon she sings that everyone burns, when everyone sings...All of this hate and pain, just burn it all down..just till everything burns...

Difference; You and Me

You want to know the difference between you and me? I wear t-shirts, you wear some fancy crap. I wear shorts, you wear jeans. I can kick your ass, and you can't do shit. XD, so you really want to know what I can do? You are stuck up...and inside no one knows the real me....I'm the one hidden, yet you show yourself...I'm falling, crushing, dying but my soul lives yet is that really enough? To be lost is a punishment..

You want to know more things that are different?

1) Who cares about their looks?: You do, I don't.
2) Who cares about going to a "cool party"?: You do, I don't.
3) Who falls in and out of love just by dating from looks?: You do, I don't.
4) Who wants nothing, but gives more?: I do, you don't.

......So many differences. But you want to know something that we have in common? We're human, we make mistakes...And we choose to be foe not friend.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if we were? Well...too bad. I'm independent and you hang out with everyone just because you want to fit in. I could care less about who is in what click, or who does what. It's funny to see how you react. But thing is...I knew you when you were younger. I know things you probably don't even remember. You see...I don't forget...I never forget things done to me...

Tear me apart and I spill everything...You hurt me, annoy me I'll hunt you down like a pack of wolves. So don't test me.